Web

Nostalgia is a web intricately spun to capture, reshape, and savor the past.

Orb-weaver spiders are known for their intricate webs. The spider floats on a trail of silk through the wind from one surface to another. After securing a line, it drops another line at the center and begins making a “Y” shape. From there, the spider builds a scaffolding of silk, interweaving a circular stitch completed with sticky silk to capture unsuspecting prey.

Then it waits.

Capturing insects, sometimes with a bite but always with a silk wrap.

One shouldn’t waste leftovers.

I, too, am an orb-weaver spider, and my web is full of memories.

I stitch nostalgia through my silk.

My memory palace full of holes—gaps of details I no longer remember accurately. My red shirt when we went to Riis Beach is pink now, or was it yellow? My favorite overalls turn denim, then corduroy, sometimes linen.

I, too, wait for unsuspecting prey. New bodies I know I’ll wrap up when we no longer speak. Cocooning my old lovers and friends for later. Keeping the thoughts buried in nostalgia, remembering them only when I have a craving for leftovers.

My web, invisible to the eye, lies in the open. I don’t blame you for getting caught in it. Do you blame me for saving you for later? Trapping you in exactly how I want to remember you, not always how you were.

My “Y,” deep within my center, no one dares to enter.

---

3.24.24

2:28 pm